Monday 19 April 2010

The Second Debate: What might happen.

'Vote yellow, get brown/red/blue' is bound to be a theme that crops up in the next debate. This is my take on how it could play out.

***

"Our next question comes from Sally in the audience."

"If no single party gets enough seats at the election, we could end up with a hung parliament. What are the implications of this for the country as a whole?"

"Mr. Cameron?"

Cameron: "Well firstly let me thankyou for the question Sally, this is a really important issue and everyone's talking about it at the moment, so let's get it sorted once and for all. This country is crying out for change: we've had 13 years of a discredited Labour government that frankly everyone wants to see the back of. But, with all due respect to Nick, the Liberal Democrats are not going to win this election. It just can't happen. And Nick doesn't want me to tell you this, but I feel it is my duty to let you know that a vote for the Liberal Democrats will do nothing more than allow this tired government to cling on to power, and it will allow Gordon Brown to get back into number 10 by the back door, where he will stay for another five years."

Clegg: "No look, that's simply not - "

Boulton: "Mr. Brown?"

Brown: "Well look, of course we all want to win this election and do what's best for the British people, and the Labour party is the only party qualified to do that, and to secure the recovery. Labour will secure the recovery, the Conservatives will endanger the recovery. We've taken the right steps to lead this economy out of the recession. They opposed us on every big decision and they cannot be trusted with the economy. But as to the question of a hung parliament - well look, I will respect whatever decision the people of this country take but I will say that actually in a lot of the country a vote for the Liberals will let the Tories in and people might not be happy, people might vote yellow but get blue.

Boulton: "Mr. Clegg?"

Clegg: "It's a bit weird because the Conservatives say a vote for the Lib Dems is a vote for Labour, but Labour say a vote for the Lib Dems is a vote for the Conservatives. Well let me tell you this: they're both wrong. A vote for the Lib Dems is a vote for change - but not just any old change, not just change for the sake of change. It's a vote for the change that this country desperately needs. A vote for the Liberal Democrats is a vote to clean up Westminster and finally get the big money out of politics once and for all. It's a vote for a fairer voting system, for more transparency in politics and greater accountability for MPs. It's a vote for income tax cuts for those on low and middle incomes. In short, it's a vote for fairness. Don't let them scare you into voting for more of the same. If you want real, lasting change, there's only one way to vote - Liberal Democrat."

Cameron: "Well let's not be too messianic about this. Look, it all sounds good, the soundbites are perfect and the delivery impeccable, but when you actually get into that voting booth, the fact will still remain: they're not going to win. If somebody tells you that a vote for the Lib Dems is a vote for Gordon Brown - well that's because it's true. And let me just ask Nick directly: you can't honestly tell me that you think you could win this election, can you?"

Clegg: "Yes, I absolutely can. And, David, if I may say so, I think it's precisely this kind of arrogance that turns people away from your party. People don't want to be told "you can't"; people don't want to be told "you have vote for one of these two and that's the way it is". People want to be told, "you can". So let me just say to all those people sitting at home: if you want change, if you want a different kind of politics, if you're sick of Labour and the Tories passing the baton of power from one to another, but never actually getting anything done, if you want a Liberal Democrat government, and if you want to vote Liberal Democrat: you can. You absolutely can.

***

Perhaps 'Clegg' is a little messianic here, as 'Cameron' pointed out. Perhaps not. Perhaps voters would love this. Perhaps it's a little too sweet for the British electorate. Regardless, this type of exchange will almost certainly crop up in at least one of the two remaining debates. The leaders know that, and probably preparing their soundbites already. It'll be interesting to see what they are.

1 comment:

  1. For anyone that does not believe it is possible for a huge LibDem break through, look at the election in British Columbia in 1991 or the Canadian Federal election in 1993.

    In 1991 the BC Liberal leader Gordon Wilson did well in the leaders's debate and went from about 6% of the vote and no seats to becoming the official opposition. The governing party came a distant third.

    In the 1993 Canadian federal election everyone thought it would simple switch between the two major parties. The governing Conservatives finished that election with 2 seats. A brand new party won 52 seats out of nowhere and the nationalist Bloc Quebecois won 54 seats. There were only 288 seats at the time.

    Given the huge movement in the voting public that the polls are showing, anything is possible.

    Given the nasty and bizarre attacks on Clegg and the Lib Dems by Labour and the Conservatives, this could push a lot more people to vote Lib Dem just to spite the morons at the other two parties.

    Is there a floor for Labour? No. Gordon Brown could finish up with with a very small number of MPs.

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